he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
