I think im going to throw up on grandma
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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