Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
God I need to hump something, right now.
I have post one night stand depression
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
