ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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