"it" just moved
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
