i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
