O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
