Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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