you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
