Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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