dude i'm inner monologue high
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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