do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
