going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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