My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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