Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
