Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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