9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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