i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
