You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
