My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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