i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
