she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Your cock deserves a montage
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
