I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize