cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
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