i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
