Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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