He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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