spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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