I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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