1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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