what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
God gave him joint rollers for hands
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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