she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
