We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
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I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Couch. On fire.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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