I didn't shave. On purpose
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
