Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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