Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
