Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
