I love black thongs
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
