I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize