If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
