just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
this just has baby written all over it
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
