i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
