I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just want to make out with him forever
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
