wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
