Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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