Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
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