If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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