Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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