I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize