Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "let me see your balls"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize