It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
