If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
