I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
