at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
