My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
