You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Someone came in the potted fern
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
