Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
